Jinx is in

All right, ladies. We will soon have a new member to the Circus blog. She is not a new member to the CLC though.

We all know her, we all love her.

Let me be the first to welcome Jinx. She's a spunky little thing that seems to invoke chaos where ever she goes. But we love even still. She seems to have made chaos of her life and wants to write about it. Who am I to say no? Exactly.

Jinx, baby...bring it.

Your lyrics "play pretend" in my head.

I would have left this as a comment on her blog but I don't think she would have posted it. So here it is...

Speed,
I love you. And as happy as you are pretending to be, I know you. The real you. That place is miserable and I think its only a matter of time before you are back to that dark place you called your life.
Come here, come home. Live with me and we don't have to tell a soul where you are. Your friends, your family...we will let them believe that you are still in Georgia.
I will lay off the guilt. I should have never tried because, like I said, I DO know you and I know what roll guilt has played in your life. It was low and wrong of me to use it. I'm sorry I hurt you.

I just want you back.

In blood

I don't think any of us have recovered enough to actually write about our Haunted Halloween, but I'm going to try. The night is still sketchy in my head.

As usual, we all went to Starr's Monster Mansion. A few of us have backgrounds in theatre and when we put on a show...it is out of this world. And this year, there were monsters behind every door. Some were real, some were not but they all looked amazing. Peace is one hell of a make-up artist when she wants to be.

The band this year went by the name Careless. (Since it wasn't their real name, I got permission to put it in here.) They were flawless and kept us all dancing for most of the night. About half way through the night they did a tribute to Speed. It was so fucking cool. (Speed - they played "Carvin'" and you would have loved it.) I think Starr has it on dvd.

The night got bloody sexual after that (literally). I wasn't all that innocent...actually, none of us were. And like we all promised Speed, we all crashed at Starr's. When I woke up the next afternoon it took all I had to convince myself that I wasn't walking through a mass murder scene. It was a great night but without Speed, it was just a night. We missed you like mad, babe. (I sent you tons of pictures.)

I hope everyone had a safe Samhain.

Here comes the B....

Okay already! Sheesh.



Starr has been begging me for an update for a while now. So here it goes...



My art work has taken off. I did this series of women, just women, in everyday life experiences. All chalk and some ink. They turned out amazing and...I've sold every piece! I'm hard at work for my next series and I have a really big show coming up. Things look good.



Kay and I are still together. I think the decision to give us a second chance was the best decision I have ever made in my entire life. She is wonderful and one hell of an artist too. The big news with this is...Kay asked me to MARRY her!



It was so cute. She was all nervous and I was all clueless, like usual. We had been surfing all day and the sun was about to set. Exhausted, I had laid back in the sand to watch the sky change and her gorgeous smile appeared before me. What she said is much too personal. And the way she looked away when she told me that if I needed time she would understand, well, it melted me.

I didn't need any time. I knew the answer in my heart before she even asked. SO...we are getting married. We are thinking sometime next year. Most likely at Starr's house. Even though I heard Speed's house has some breathtaking views. Neither state will recognize it legally, but I'm fine with that. I do not need any government or church to tell me that my commitment to her is real. I feel it...and that is more than most straight couples can say.

Home

Well, I'm back home and finally warming up a bit. And like Speed, I miss her already too. J, I miss you too.

It was a memorable trip. There's things I won't forget like table dancing and singing to the top of our lungs as Joan Jett blared through the speakers. Or like waking up in search of coffee while Speed sat and watched, laughing while sipping her decaf tea. She could have just told me that the coffee was on the counter. Or waking up at five in the morning with the God of Thunder sitting on the house. That thunderstorm was one for the record books as being the loudest, frightening storm ever encountered. I thought the house might crumble. I think the thing I will remember the most is waking up with the two of them wrapped around me. It was one of those moments where you think that if you died right at that moment, you knew you would die happy.

Things I hope will purge from my memory: Anus in his underwear. Yeah, he walks around the house that way. Actually, I want all memories of Anus and Egg purged from my brain.

I really understand why Speed was struggling so much. It is so hard to live with people that really bring you down. They have no respect and are pretty much scum bags. They have their moments where they seem okay but then one of them will open their mouths and throw a wrench in the decent vibe you might have been getting. It was rough and I really wish I could go into more details, but out of respect for my closest friend, I can't.

All that aside, it was cool to see Brody and Aspen (Speeds dogs). Brody has grown so much and she has turned out to be a beautiful dog. Aspen has grown too. She really didn't need to, she is already 70 or 80 pounds of pure muscle. I've got some pictures but I'm not sure if I want to share them. I really do have to keep this as anonymous as possible.

It is good to be back home but I really wish I could have brought Speed with me. It really hurts to see her like this. It isn't her. She is always happy, always making everyone laugh, always keeping the mood at a very happy high, and like this...she is a stranger to me. I really hope I helped. J said I did, but I will believe it when I see it.

And my thanks go to: J and Speed for sharing your house and your bed with me. (I will be stealing your bed.) Speed, for your comforting embraced and J for being the most understanding person in the world. Both of you, for showing me a great time, even though it wasn't the best of times for either of you. I love you both more than words can ever say.

Crawl

I really expected Bruiser to update this last night. Thanks Bruiser.

First, I have to say that Speed and J have the most comfortable bed I have ever slept in and it is huge. I really didn't want to crawl out of bed this morning. It helped that I had Speed wrapped around me and J was wrapped around her. No dirty thoughts here, that's not what it was. Since Anus and Egg moved back in, they really do have a full house. (Now you know what has Speed all fucked up. They don't get along.) Dimes, Candy...I now completely understand what you meant about how it felt to wake up with her arms around you. It was like the most comforting and safe feeling I have ever woken up to.

Anus and Egg, that is for Speed to explain.

Octoberfest is in full swing up here. Yeah, you know where we were all weekend. Its like German town in Helen. Lots of beer and tons of bikers. We fit right in. But since Speed doesn't and can't drink beer, we had to find a cool place to drink the hard stuff. I think I still have a hangover.
We were smart though. We had a hotel room for Friday and Saturday night. We found one that was within crawling distance of the bar we were at. This should tell you how drunk we were...I cannot even remember the name of the bar.
But what I do remember is pretty typical of a night out with Speed. Absolute amazing fun and a pure rush from the time I opened my eyes in the morning until I closed them the next morning. (There might be a YouTube video of us coming soon. The table dancing was a real crowd pleaser.) Oh, and check this CLC...J even joined us! I guess she does have a little bit of a wild side.

As far as Speed is concerned, she seems a lot better but we did just spend three days away from this place. It is so gloomy here. And cold. I hope that the damn sun comes out today or I'm going to be searching for a damn tanning salon. I need the heat. Not the tan. I can see how it was so easy for her to implode here.

It is so cute, they're still sleeping. Yes, this computer is in their bedroom and its password protected. They have to have it this way because Anus is a menace when it comes to electronics. He's already ruined three of their computers and this one is much too nice to let him touch. But, yes they are still sleeping. When I got up, J pulled Speed closer to her and told her that she loved her. Speed mumbled something back that I didn't understand but they both stayed asleep. Told ya...fucking cute.

Well, that's all for now. I'm fucking cold and I think I'm going to snuggle back up to these two. They look really warm.

greetings from up north

Hello, freaks and followers...

I am in gloomy North Georgia with my girl Speed and her girl J. It is fucking cold. To all you non-Florida people...that means that it isn't 90 degrees and my teeth are chattering.

Seems Speed finally snapped. (She just slapped my shoulder and told me not to make her sound like a basket case.) So, no not that kind of snapped. Her concept of positive thinking just shattered is all. She's got some shitty people around her. Shitty negative people and they seem to have corrupted her mind.

And because I love her so damn much and I had some free time, I flew up to help her. That's just who I am and I know that if I was in the same situation, she would do the same.

To the CLC: I'm not sure how she has survived up here for so long. It is a very miserable place. Bland and dormant. There's no color, no life up here. Bruiser, expect a call from me around 8.

Love you guys.