Truth

I am so glad we use fake names in here. Girls, what I'm about to tell you has to stay between us.
You all know that I've been with Amber off and on for a long time now. I love her deeply, with all my heart. What you don't know is that she has a problem. A drinking problem and when she gets wasted on the hard stuff, she gets violent.
The black eye from the bar fight, the broken nose from the mechanic shop, the broken ribs...I lied. Amber can be pretty brutal at times.
I've left her so many times, you girls know I have. She finds me and apologizes. Tells me she loves me and it will never happen again. I love her so much and I want to believe her, so I always go back.
I haven't been with her for over a week now. Yes, the stitches over my eye are from her. She caught me pouring her bottle of whiskey down the drain. We argued and she somehow got the bottle from me and whacked me with it.
For the first time, I almost hit her back. God, I wanted to. But I couldn't.
It even crossed my mind (as I was sitting in the emergency room) that maybe, if I would have hit her back years ago, that she would've stopped. Wishful thinking I know. Its not like I could hit her anyway. I love her too much.
I just wish she loved me enough to get help. That's what I had to talk to her about. She says she doesn't have a problem and refused.
So I refused to go back to her.
God help me.