Family and such

For all to know...the Christmas Beach Party was a smash again! Literally. My sliding glass doors will never be the same. Thank you to all my Circus Freak Lesbians for helping me pull off such an amazing event. Still didn't feel like Christmas though...but such is life.



Back to the family thing. So yeah, grandma called. Said that grandpa was the one keeping her from me. But I always say, no one can keep you from what you want except yourself. I really feel that if she wanted to find me she could have. Same with my sister and cousins and so on. I did have one cousin that I ran into a few years back...but she ignored me when I said hello. That's about the time I said fuck all of them. I had my Aunt Joan and that was all that mattered to me.
Aunt Joan was an amazing woman. Strong with a very clear, free mind. She marched with me at Pride festivals and stood up for me in front of government institutions. She was a strong fighter for women's rights and fair and equal treatment for all. She loved me unconditionally and lost all of her family when she took me in.
I was fifteen and alone on the streets of Ft. Lauderdale. She hunted for me for weeks before she found me. Honestly, I was hiding from her...I had originally thought that she was like the rest of my family and wanted to find me so she could beat the gay out of me. She snuck up on me when I was sleeping and cried as she held me, telling me how much she loved me and that I was going home with her.
There was a big court battle but Aunt Joan (who was a lawyer) won hands down. And that was the last time we saw any of our family. We tried to keep the family together but they didn't want anything to do with us. They would change their numbers, move, and my mother even took my siblings out of their schools. It was stupid and childish if you ask me. All because I was a lesbian.

So grandma says that it was grandpa's views that kept our family from us. She said that when mom called her to tell them that I was gay, grandpa told her to get rid of me. (And he didn't mean kick me out.) My dad's family was the same way. I was the huge disgrace to my family and didn't deserve to live. So, when Aunt Joan adopted me, she let me change my name to anything I wanted. I changed it to hers. (She was married once and had a different last name than the rest of the so called family.) I didn't want any part of the people who didn't want me. I was glad to rid myself of their name.
I asked grandma why she didn't even show up to her own daughters funeral. She explained that she didn't know she had passed and the tears I heard her cry sounded sincere. I had done some research and found grandma's number. I remember I had left a message. She told me that grandpa probably got the message and deleted it before she could hear it. She told me that if she would have known, she would have done everything she could to have been there. Truth or tale? I have no idea.

So I agreed to meet with her. We meet today, in about an hour and a half. I'm taking her to the cemetery. I will know some truth by the way she reacts.
Wish me luck!