Reflection

Damn! I wish I would have known you were awake, Starr. I would've had you join me at the beach. It was crawling with sexy women today.
Maybe its something in the air, Starr, because I haven't been sleeping much either. Or it could just be that time of the year. You know, 'the years almost over and what the hell have I accomplished type thing.'
Anyway, so I went to the beach today...alone. Watching the sunrise helps me relax. I had such a hectic week.
Yeah, so I wanted to think and a subject I hadn't thought about in a long while came to mind.
I arrived at the beach as the sun was coming up. It was a magnificent sunrise I might add. The place was empty except for two punk girls that were sitting close to shore holding on to each other tight. I knew they couldn't have been more than 16 or so, but it reminded me of when I was that age. Then it reminded me of coming out.
Very painfully reminded me, too. The look in my mothers eyes and the words that flew from her lips like bullets from a gun. She threw a gallon jug of gin at me that I still have the scar from.
I started wondering what it was like for kids now. Since I had no idea, when the girls were walking past me, I stopped them. They were more than happy to sit and explain their coming out stories. (Yeah, they both were out.)
Christy, who told me she just turned 17, said that coming out for her was awful. She said that her parents had always preached about unconditional love and such. But when she sat them down to tell them that she had fallen in love...for the first time...with a girl, that unconditional love turned into an inferno of hell. They ended up kicking her out in the street. Her aunt took her in but still. How could a parent do something like that to their child? She said that they won't even answer when she calls and all her letters have been returned. I guess we know who the adult here is and I told Christy so. She was really a good kid.
Her girlfriend, Trin was still sixteen. And yes Trin is the girl Christy was in love with. They had been together for two years already. Well, her parents took it a little better. Okay...her mom took it just fine and her father still hasn't said a word to her, but at least they didn't abandon her. The best part is that her parents don't try to keep them apart. In fact, her mother calls Christy her "other" daughter which I thought was pretty cool.
My mother has never even acknowledged any of my girlfriends and still tries to fix me up with "nice young men."
Trin quoted what her mother had told her. She said, "Love knows no gender. And if God is all knowing, then he knew that you were gay before he sent you here. And he wouldn't have brought you to Earth just to be damned to hell. So, if God is cool enough with it to give you life, then everyone should be."
I thought about it for a while after they left and I saw where her mom was coming from. Most of us know that we are "different" at a very young age. There are many who don't realize it until later in life. There are even some who know but are so afraid of losing their loved ones and friends over it that they pretend to be straight for decades, living a miserable life.
Then there are the kids. The ones that don't make it to their 16th birthday because of rejection from their families or depression from holding in such a big secret or simply because they have no one to talk to about their confusion.
Its not fair.
Children should not have to be so afraid. Parents should realize that they brought an individual into the world not a mini version of themselves. An individual with their own mind, their own feelings. Feelings that the parents might not understand. But still...
That child is still the small baby you held close as you whispered that you would love them no matter what. The same baby you said was perfect in every way. They are still perfect, they just love a little different.
Even though you might not love them anymore or feel disgusted or disgraced by them, they still love you.
Like Christy said...they are her parents and she will always love them even if they hate her for the rest of her life.
Stop losing your kids to your ignorance and hate.
Love is love...it knows no gender.