missing her

I have been missing Amber like crazy. Everything I do, everything I see...reminds me of her. And its driving me crazy.
Honestly, I'm a little scared too. She hasn't called me since...I can't even remember. I haven't seen her drive by my work. I'm so tempted to call her but I don't want to lose my footing and fall back into her routine.
I was thinking about some of our good times. We did have a lot of them even though most of them ended with a bad time. But when we first got together, things were great. I just wish I could remember when things started getting bad. Because she wasn't always a drinker.
Whatever. I just want to know if she is okay. So I can sleep at night damn it.