Could it be?

I have to say this again...I am so fucking excited to see Speed. We have so much catching up to do. It really sucks we won't be able to hit the inlet for some waves but at least we will have her.



On to the real post.



I guess the reason I haven't posted about anything lately is because I really don't know what to say. I've been somewhat confused and torn. The girls know, but I just didn't want to mention it here. But...I think I have it all figured out (with the help of some really great advice from all my CLC girls.)



For the longest time, the thought of anyone else in my life besides Skylar was...petrifying, painful, and sad. The connection we had, the love we shared, it was (and still is) sacred and very much a part of me. As Speed pointed out, its the part of me that makes me live. But until she explained it to me, I had always thought that another person in my life would take that all away.



Now, I know its not true. Skylar will always be that part of me no matter what happens.



I believe I wrote about Trin in this blog. She is the amazingly beautiful woman, inside and out, that I met at the bookstore a few months ago. We've had a few very romantic dinners, several heated nights by the ocean, and many real fun dates. I'm finally ready to admit that I might more than like her.

She is so unbelievable. But sometimes, I catch myself comparing her to Skylar. I know I shouldn't do that and that in my heart, no one could ever compare to her. But Trin, she reminds me of Skylar in so many ways yet they are so different. And really, what I feel for Trin is a lot different from the way I feel for Skylar.

That was what caused all of my confusion. It has been a long time since I was in a relationship but I should have remembered that all love is different. It might still be love, but it doesn't mean it will be exactly like the love before it.

Love...this very well could be it. But I'm not going to try and analyze it anymore. If it is, it is. If not, well I will know. And Trin, she has been so patient and idle of sorts. She knows a bit about Skylar but not everything, of course. She's met the Crazy Lesbians I call my family (except for Speed) and they all love her just as much as she loves them.

So, maybe this is it...she is it. That one person that can help me heal and hold my hand as I walk through the path I never thought I would see again. Maybe...

We will see.