So they call me Peace. The circus crew pick on me because my parents are probably the last two remaining hippies on the planet. They smoked more weed yesterday than I have my entire life. So be it, right.
Anyhow, you will probably figure out that I am the most inexperienced and shyest of us all. The youngest too. At least they don't pick on me for any of that but they do try and set me up a lot. Most of the time I turn them down, but there have been a few occasions I've attempted a date. Some of the girls are so hot and I get so shy that I can barely pull my name from my throat, much less a meaningful conversation. Needless to say, my dates don't go very far.
Like this last girl they set me up with. Walkers girlfriend had a friend, a drop dead gorgeous friend. Her hair was burgundy and so were her eyes. Beautiful. If I was anything like Dimes, she would've went home with me that night.
We started with a nice dinner. Gianni's to be exact. She liked to talk and I liked to listen. Not like I would've been able to put together a decent sentence anyway.
But I watched her as she spoke. Her sexy full lips and even sexier smile had me hypnotized. I couldn't keep my eyes off them. The whole time, I fantasized of places I'd like those lips to be.
When dinner was over, we went to a movie. Now this is where I messed up. She's got her hand on my leg, slowly inching up on my thigh. My blood was pumping to all the right places and my body temperature was rising. And just when she was about to get to the part that counts...I stopped her. I'm not sure why but I stopped her. What the fucks wrong with me?
Anyhow, my guess is that I insulted her. Or maybe she thought that I was uninterested. I'm not sure but she didn't make another attempt all night. And even though I wanted to, I couldn't talk myself into making a move. I couldn't even hold her hand.
So I take her home. The ride wasn't so bad. She seemed to perk up a bit, literally. Things were looking better and I thought I was loosening up. We pull up to her house and she kisses my cheek. "You wanna come in for a drink...or something else?" she asks in a very seductive voice.
I'm still stuck on the kiss on my cheek and nothing - I mean nothing - comes from my mouth. Couldn't move, couldn't speak, and she's looking at me like I'm dysfunctional or broken.
She gets out of the car, slams the door, and yells, "If you're not fucking interested, you should just fucking say so!" She turned her back and vanished behind her door.
Now, what I should have done was get out of the car and apologize profusely through her door until she let me in. Instead, I sat in my car for ten minutes contemplating it.
I drove home with my tail between my legs. Its been days and I can't even get up the nerve to call her. Some lesbian I am. I would turn in my card but the crew says I don't have one.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
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